Ranking Thrones’ best Characters

With probably the most anticipated release of a movie or show since Harry Potter 7 part 2, lets take a look at the top 5 characters left in Game of Thrones.

  1. Sir Bronn of the fucking Blackwater

Talk about something you probably didn’t see coming. This was about as shocking as Ders picking Fight Club and Lord of the Rings: Two Towers in his top 5 movies OF ALL TIME. Bronn is the best character in this show and I won’t hear anything else. His one liners make everyone with a pulse laugh their ass off and the fact that he’s still around means that he’s about to have a big impact on this final season.

2. Tyrion Lannister

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Tyrion is probably who you’d expect to be #1, and there’s an argument to be had there. Peter Dinklage is the best actor in the show and I don’t think that anybody is going to argue that, fuck, even his own co-stars say that he’s the best. With that being said, Tyrion is the most dynamic character in the show… the type of guy that’ll scheme the sack your city and your girl in the same night. He’s the ultimate underdog, literally and figuratively, and is my pick to be sitting on the iron throne at the end of season 8.

3. Arya Stark

Besides John Snow, I think Arya is probably the most well-liked character in the show. Literally every scene that she’s in gets the heart rate going. She’s got the silkiest hands in the show, I mean this scene with her just toying with Brienne is gonna give me a jammer if I keep watching it. Everyone on her list is about to get auto-killed.

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…. silk.

Arya list check: Cersei, The Mountain, The Red Woman, Meryn Trant.

4. John Snow

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This is a big time pander pick. Everybody loves John Snow. I think that’s why he’s probably fourth is because literally everybody loves John Snow. He’s the face of the franchise, has the looks, the hands, the brains, but the real reason he’s in the top 5 is that this guy might have bigger wheels than Hartsy at Box on a Saturday night. This guy took the most untouchable girl in the 7 kingdoms and impregnated her after a total of about 45 minutes together. This puts him clean in the top 4.

5. The Night King

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This pick is going to piss a lot of people off but I don’t give a damn. The Night king is what is making this show so interesting. He’s stirring the shit out of the pot. Yes, this show probably could’ve gone on and been a classic show where the Targaryans and the Starks battle the Lanisters and the Golden Company and then John and Khaleesi go on happily every, but nope, the Night King is here and he brings a whole new element to the show. He’s about as explosive as it gets.

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Get this dude in the god damn olympics with that javelin throw. The form, the power, the accuracy and grace. I love what the Night King brings to the table, and theres no chance he isn’t around in the final episode.

Worst Character in the Show:  Bran – The absolute worst. I’d dummy that kid immediately upon sight. Add some spice to your scenes you plain bagel soft ass clown.

See you all next week after the episode. It’s going to be an explosive 54 minutes.

Squirrel

 

 

 

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One thought on “Ranking Thrones’ best Characters

  1. What about sir podrick fucking Payne? The guy may suck ass with a sword, but don’t forget that he’s got such a wrench that brothel chicks couldn’t even accept his payment for sex in season 3.

    Liked by 1 person

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