Sup Film Crushers this is Thiccquads here, first off, anyone that has complained about how dull this episode was can go kick rocks because they don’t know jack shit about Thrones. Every season the first episode is a build-up episode and this season is no different. Game of Thrones has prepared a fat steak dinner this season and episode 1 was just us eating our vegetables. While episode 1 was a build-up episode, it did have scenes that got you screaming LFG with your boys.
First, the opening scene couldn’t have looked more badass, you had a bunch of northerns acting all tough lining the road while a massive army of dothraki and unsullied marched into Winterfell while Jon, looking like a savage as always, road next to his girl Daenerys dressed in a sexy all white fur outfit.
On this note, what is it with Jon and caves? That has been this guys best wheeling spot all series.
Another badass scene was when Theon finally grew his inexistent balls back and somehow took out an entire Greyjoy ship in the easiest rescue mission of all time to get Yara back.
Editors Note: This was an all-time let-down… they gassed the shit out of Theon and he actually cakewalked onto the ship, killed maybe 2 dudes and rescued her. Benioff and Weiss gotta be better with some of these smaller storylines.
Lastly there was the final ten to fifteen minutes of the show where Samwell Tarly, after having the news broke to him that Daenerys burnt his father and brother to a crisp, had to pass the message along to Jon that he has been banging his aunt and his entire life has been lie.
Then we go to Last Hearth where Tormund and the brotherhood find little Jon Umber nailed to a circle of cut of up legs and arms, classic night king bullshit. What was hella scary was when the kid lit on fire and started screaming like he possessed in the conjuring or something. Not sure what the symbol on fire means, but i’m guessing it has something to do with the Night King coming to f shit up.
The brutal part about the episode is that there were only about four or five good scenes that were noteworthy. Everything else mainly consisted of Sansa trying to act like a bad bitch, Tyrion scheming, and a lot of awkward hellos. Like when Arya and Gendry met just after he made the hound a massive axe of dragon glass (badass), this may have been the first time where we have seen Arya like a guy that wasn’t her brothers or dad, which means Gendry could be in for a hell of a ride.
Now that the build-up episode is out of the way, get your asses glued to your seats for Sunday at 9pm where we get see Jaime eat a shit ton of karma from pretty much everyone that hates him.